[转载]认认真真的看完吧:选择适合过一辈子的人

选择适合过一辈子的人
认认真真的看完吧:选择适合过一辈子的人 - 豪迈(Horror) - 沐雨听风观日月,拂花卧草戏鱼虫--原创

心理学家认为,判断男女两个人是否适合“牵手”,应考虑以下10个因素。  

第一、彼此都是对方的好朋友,不带任何条件,喜欢与对方在一起。


第二、彼此很容易沟通、互相可以很敞开地坦白任何事情,而不必担心被对方怀疑或轻视。


第三、两人在心灵上有共同的理念和价值观,并且对这些观念有清楚的认识与追求。  


第四、双方都认为婚姻是一辈子的事,而且双方都坚定地愿意委身在这个长期的婚姻关系中。


第五、当发生冲突或争执的时候可以一起来解决,而不是等以后来发作。


     第六、相处可以彼此逗趣,常有欢笑,在生活中许多方面都会以幽默相待。

第七、彼此非常了解,并且接纳对方,当知道对方了解了自己的优点和缺点后,仍然确信被他所接纳。


第八、从最了解你、也是你最信任的对方处得到支持的肯定。


第九、有时会有浪漫的感情,但绝大多数的时候,你们的相处是非常满足而且是自由自在的。


第十、有一个非常理性和成熟的交往,并且双方都能感受到,在许多不同的层面上你们是很相配的。

认认真真的看完吧:选择适合过一辈子的人 - 豪迈(Horror) - 沐雨听风观日月,拂花卧草戏鱼虫--原创

爱情是追到手的吗?
不是。真正的感情根本不需要追的。两个人的默契,在慢慢将两颗心的距离缩短,在无意识中渐渐靠近彼此。从好朋友到情人,真正的感情是用不了多久的。从你喜欢上他的那一刻起,也许他也在那一刻喜欢上了你。同节奏的爱情往往能奏出最和谐最动听的乐章。

        真正的爱情需要什么?需要两个人在一起是轻松快乐的,没有压力。
认认真真的看完吧:选择适合过一辈子的人 - 豪迈(Horror) - 沐雨听风观日月,拂花卧草戏鱼虫--原创

爱一个人就是毫无保留地付出吗?
不是。每一个人都是一个独立的人,我们首先是属于自己的,我们有思想,我们有个性,而不是把我们的全部都给对方。

         外貌和个性哪个更重要?
          男人年轻的时候往往喜欢漂亮的女子,25岁以后,会选择和自己性格合适的女子,能和自己一起过日子的人。细水长流一些,爱情会更长久。
相爱容易相处难。相处中最重要的是宽容和妥协,在信任和了解的基础上。没有宽容和妥协,任何两个人都无法相处。
纯纯的爱也许只有一次,但是真爱未必只有一次。时间会抚平一切伤痕。
我们其实是可以爱上很多人的。我们不是喜欢某个人,而是喜欢某种类型的人。先来的人和我们相遇了,于是我们幸福地走到了一起;对于后到的人,只能抱以歉意,同时,祝福他早日找到属于他自己的幸福。 没有谁是我们一生非拥有不可的,爱一个人,很多时候实际上是习惯了这个人

   分手后我们还可以做朋友吗?
1、 最好不要。剪不断,理还乱。过去了就过去了,我们不是生活在过去,而是现在。爱情不等于生活,只是生活的一部分。人必须往前看,而且现实中分手后的情侣能够再见亦是朋友的有几人,分手后,彼此都会重新找到下一个,彼此已经不再需要彼此,如果还对过去存在幻想与留念,那么就不要开始下一段感情,因为对下一个来说是极度残忍与不公,而且也在折磨着自己。
        2、分手了,就要彻底地与对方保持距离,不要保持暧昧的关系,自己要有自己的自尊,为了彼此的下一段感情着想,最好谁也不要打扰谁,不要妄想分手了还可以有事没事找对方谈,分手后虽然说还是朋友,但这只是一句好听的话,事实注定,是不大可能的,因为你们的关系太敏感了。
3、不要保留恋爱时的照片,这是分手后第一件要处理的事情,因为结束了的感情,就结束了彼此的关系,既然不能再在一起,留着照片干嘛呢,要留念么?要隔三差五地拿出来翻看么?有的人,手机里,电脑里都会保存着旧爱的照片,也许他们念旧,也许他们真的想保留那份回忆,但记住,要放在隐蔽的地方,不要让人随处就可以翻看,因为这相当于你的心,你真的想挖开自己的心让人看见吗?其实每个人的心都有别人不可触碰的角落, 有些人,有些回忆就放在那个角落就好啦,不用摆出来,让别人看见的。除非你分手后,依然爱着她,非她不爱了,从今以后都不恋爱了,那样你可以把照片晒出来,贴满屋都没人怪你,如果不是就把那些通通关于旧爱的东西全部清除掉吧,否则将会成为你下一段感情的障碍。

          4、分手后,不一定要成为敌人,但你们只可以做保持打招呼距离的朋友!
          5、恋爱的时间能长尽量长。这最少有两点好处:一,充分、尽可能长的享受恋爱的愉悦,二,两人相处时间越长,越能检验彼此是否真心,越能看出两人性格是否合得来。

认认真真的看完吧:选择适合过一辈子的人 - 豪迈(Horror) - 沐雨听风观日月,拂花卧草戏鱼虫--原创
        是不是得不到的就是最好的呢?

      不是的。很多人都用那句话来感叹曾经追不到手的他她,那是因为你没有得到那样东西,所以你对这样东西充满幻想,充满期待,其实,得不到的未必就是最好的,因此不必对没有得到的东西念念不忘,也许某天让你得到了,你会发现也不过如此。很多东西都是自己美化的,有时候得不到也是件美好的事,因为证明这不是爱情,因此,最好与最爱,是自己说了算!具我说,最不该怀念的就是追不到的他她,因为不懂欣赏自己啊,所以要好好珍惜真正爱自己的人,用心疼爱欣赏自己的人,永远不要拿真心和你过日子的人与那个你追不到手的人作比较,因为那个追不到手的人,不配!

          是否门当户对不要紧,最重要应该是兴当趣对,不然没有共同语言,即使在一起,仍然会感觉到孤独。 持久的爱情源于彼此发自内心的真爱,建立在平等的基础之上。
      如果爱上,就不要轻易放过机会。莽撞,可能使你后悔一阵子;怯懦,却可能使你一辈子后悔。没有经历过爱情的人生是不完整的,没有经历过痛苦的爱情是不深刻的。爱情使人生丰富,痛苦使爱情升华。
你可能习惯与现在的恋人,明明不太喜欢,但在一起久了,习惯使人不太愿做新的选择。人生会面临无数次选择。当给你机会选择时,你一定要谨慎;一旦你做出了选择,就永远不要后悔;拿得起,放得下,
该断则断,该忘记的,就把它忘记;该珍惜的,就要把它珍惜 !

我们总说:“我要找一个很爱很爱的人,才会谈恋爱。”但是当对方问你,怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候,你却无法回答他,因为你自己也不知道。


没错,我们总是以为,我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。可是后来,当我们猛然回首,我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。假如从来没有开始,你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢?其实,很爱很爱的感觉,是要在一起经历了许多事情之后才会发现的。或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣,但是你有没有想过,在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了,只是你没有发觉而已呢?


所以,还是仔细看看身边的人吧,他或许已经等你很久了。当你爱一个人的时候,爱到八分绝对刚刚好。所有的期待和希望都只有七八分,剩下两三分用来爱自己。如果你还继续爱得更多,很可能会给对方沉重的压力,让彼此喘不过气来,完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。


   所以请记住,喝酒不要超过六分醉,吃饭不要超过七分饱,爱一个人不要超过八分。如果你也正在为爱迷惘,或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示:爱一个人,要了解也要开解;要道歉也要道谢;要认错也要改错;要体贴也要体谅;是接受而不是忍受;是宽容而不是纵容;是支持而不是支配;是慰问而不是质问;是倾诉而不是控诉;是难忘而不是遗忘;是彼此交流而不是凡事交代;是为对方默默祈求而不是向对方诸多要求。可以浪漫,但不要浪费,不要随便牵手,更不要随便放手。 

浪漫的人这样描述与爱人的相逢:千万人当中,在时间的无涯的荒野里,没有早一步,也没有晚一步,刚巧赶上了。两个人好着的时候,你不妨就这样想吧。如果不好了,你要明白是否和某人在一起,不过是一个再简单不过的概率问题。数千个擦肩而过中,你给谁机会谁就和你有缘分,纵没有甲,也会有乙。别傻等那种想像中的木石前盟般的缘分了,生活中哪有那么多传奇。别醒着做梦了,难道你忘了艺术虽然来源生活,却还高于生活吗?

        好好爱,好好珍惜,爱情不是万能,没有爱情就万万不能!

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19 thoughts on “[转载]认认真真的看完吧:选择适合过一辈子的人

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