[转载]中国人的惊艳的一天

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早上醒来,先用二甘醇超标的牙膏刷牙,再用发臭的蓝藻水洗脸,给儿子冲一瓶添加三聚氰胺的奶粉,自己喝杯黑作坊的豆浆,吃几个硫磺熏白了的馒头,或者是废纸箱当肉馅的包子,就点儿废旧油漆桶里腌的榨菜。

吃饱喝足,出门,深吸一口富含PX的空气,等了半个小时终于等来一辆挤满沙丁鱼的公交车。没办法,上吧!再不上就迟到了。

一路风驰电掣到了公司,先来一杯矿泉水(实际上也就是自来水,只不过过滤了一下而已)。坐定之后,赶紧投入工作,丝毫不敢怠慢,生怕老板不满意,炒了我。谁让这年头工作不好找呢!混口饭吃真不容易!

中午跟同事一起到肯德基吃顿苏丹红炸鸡,喝了杯苯超标的可乐。下午朋友在QQ上发话:你的手机怎么关机啊?如果没有QQ真还找不到你了!这才一摸口袋,没有!莫不是在公交车被人那个啥了??这可是我今年第三部手机了啊!还没等我缓过劲儿来,就听见她哭哭啼啼,大约是炒股炒赔了。约她出来到新开的菜馆吃顿地沟油炒的菜,来一盘避孕药催大的香辣鳝鱼,再来一盘臭水沟捞来的麻辣龙虾,还有个农药高残留的清炒菠菜,老板上一杯重金属超标100倍的碧螺春茶,再喝点含甲醛的啤酒  ,算帐的时候168(太黑了,还不打折,老板说吉利),回来一看,老板又找回了一张假币。

回家的时候被宝马撞倒,太幸运!得让丫出点血,所以躺着不动,一睁眼,看宝马调回头来碾压,于是我以史无前例的速度爬起来跑掉。

吃晚饭的时候,儿子突然问我:妈妈,到底什么是“三好学生”啊?我们老师说,只要我学习好,就让我当“三好学生”。我无言以对。

要睡觉的时候,被甲醛呛得眼泪直流(刚装修完),只好把脑袋蒙到黑心棉被子里。想起房子还有四十万贷款加利息,辗转反侧到天半亮都没眯。找安眠药吃了半瓶也没用,含在嘴里,唉!怎么是糯米粉!!??

草TA妈,还让不让人活了啊!!??

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20 thoughts on “[转载]中国人的惊艳的一天

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