“我曾经爱过你”–仲夏雨夜的唱和–by豪迈(horror)

“我曾经爱过你”–仲夏雨夜的唱和

–by豪迈(horror)

题记:“我曾经爱过你”

?????? 难道现在不爱了吗……

?????? 今夜的北京,落着清新恬静的雨。今夜的北京的我,独自坐在运通114的旅程上。今夜的北京的我看到的雨,一如十几年前的那样,这是我记得的。也许可以推断,几十年,几百年,她见证了多少个“曾经”。

?????? 曾经的青春年少的我,用我自己的直觉与执着,过着我的生活。第一次看到这首小诗,是在郁秀著的一本青春必读书——《花季雨季》——我读时好像已经不是这个年龄了,由于上学晚。第一次,就被她的节奏触动了——没有想到,普希金会有这样的爱情。就像我们大多数将苏轼归为豪放派词人,而见到他的《江城子-十年生死两茫茫》时,我们感叹于他的柔情;又如同我们遇到了同样为豪放派代表的陆游的《钗头凤-红酥手》,他的“错!错!错!莫!莫!莫!”,给我们的又是何其的缠绵。

?????? 那时,曾经的我,偶然看到这本书,真的很惊讶,很有一种共鸣。她的确写出了我们的迷茫,写出了我们的成长。前几天,从网上下载了这本书,回味。凭着当年的记忆,许多情节依然如昨,印象最深的就是《我曾经爱过你》和《难得》这两首小诗。以致能情不自禁的毫无停滞的朗诵在这个雨夜。

我曾经爱过你(普希金 作 戈宝权 译)

我曾经爱过你:爱情,也许 在我的心灵里还没有完全消亡, 但愿它不会再打扰你, 我也不想再使你难过悲伤。 我曾经默默无语、毫无指望地爱过你, 我既忍受着羞怯,又忍受着嫉妒的折磨, 我曾经那样真诚、那样温柔地爱过你, 但愿上帝保佑你, 另一个人也会象我爱你一样。

?????? 当年诵读时,只是内心有一种莫名的和声,好像是深藏地底的山泉终于克服地壳的阻力,破土而出。而如今,我们知道,那不是山泉,是我们的心跳动的缘故,是在我们心底蛰伏的情愫。只是春天的到来唤醒了它们,不因你,也不因我。

?????? 上周在当当上买了本书,上面就有这首,写到“这首诗是献给安娜·阿列克谢耶夫娜·奥列尼娜(1808-1888)。奥列尼娜(奶名安涅塔)是美术学院院长、彼得堡公共图书馆馆长、考古学家奥列宁的千金小姐。奥列尼娜生活在著名学者家中,受到文学艺术的熏陶,文化素质较高,同时又颇多魅力,相当活泼,惹人喜爱。奥列尼娜和普希金接触之后,她曾表白说:普希金是‘当时她所见到的最有趣的人’,普希金对她也充满了情意。他们一起在沙龙见面,在郊外同游,在彼得堡夏园幽会。1828年夏天,普希金很想和奥列尼娜结为夫妻,但却遭到了她的父亲的拒绝。普希金遭到拒绝后,很快就离开了彼得堡。由于一些其他原因,普希金与奥列尼娜一家关系大大疏远了。”

于是上网上找到了英文的原文:

I Loved You

I loved you; even now I must confess, Some embers of my love their fire retain; But do not let it cause you more distress, I do not want to sadden you again. Hopeless and tonguetied, yet I loved you dearly With pangs the jealous and the timid know; So tenderly I love you, so sincerely, I pray God grant another love you so. (Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin)

?????? 让我们细细体味,那些曾经的记忆,将自然的宣泄而出。无论是曾经的你,还是曾经的她,还是曾经的什么……我们都无法压抑,心底的呼声,尽管那是曾经被迫蛰伏的经历。我们是无悔的,“羞怯”与“嫉妒的折磨”都忍受了,还有什么是不能忍受的?一如诗中所说的“I pray God grant another love you so.”这将是我现在心底的呼声,以此来和雨夜清幽的混响唱和……

2008年6月22日23:17:41

41 thoughts on ““我曾经爱过你”–仲夏雨夜的唱和–by豪迈(horror)

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