[转载]慎重的选择牵手

[music]1609037561|1|http://www.macdx1.com:6689/wordpress/WoMSHD_PianoVer.mp3|a promise|0|张靓颖[/music]
★心理学家认为,判断男女两个人是否适合“牵手”,应考虑以下10个因素。   
   第一、彼此都是对方的好朋友,不带任何条件,喜欢与对方在一起。   
   第二、彼此很容易沟通、互相可以很敞开地坦白任何事情,而不必担心被对方怀疑或轻视。   
   第三、两人在心灵上有共同的理念和价值观,并且对这些观念有清楚的认识与追求。   
   第四、双方都认为婚姻是一辈子的事,而且双方(特别强调“双方”)都坚定地愿意委身在这个长期的婚姻关系中。   
   第五、当发生冲突或争执的时候可以一起来解决,而不是等以后来发作。 
   第六、相处可以彼此逗趣,常有欢笑,在生活中许多方面都会以幽默相待。   
   第七、彼此非常了解,并且接纳对方,当知道对方了解了自己的优点和缺点后,仍然确信被他所接纳。   
   第八、从最了解你、也是你最信任的对方处得到支持的肯定。   
   第九、有时会有浪漫的感情,但绝大多数的时候,你们的相处是非常满足而且是自由自在的。   
   第十、有一个非常理性和成熟的交往,并且双方都能感受到,在许多不同的层面上你们是很相配的。   
    爱情最常见的形式就是两性之间的捕捉与追逐。人际间的好感可以相互传达出强大的力量,以至于能够弥补客观条件的不足。是相似性而非互补性把人们结合到了一起。相似性主要包括三个方面的匹配度:价值观与人格、兴趣和经验、人际风格。其中,人际风格是最重要的关系预测指标。与和自己人际沟通风格有所差异的人交往会有挫折感,且较少有进一步发展的可能。 
        ★爱情是追到手的吗? 
        不是。真正的感情根本不需要追的。两个人的默契,在慢慢将两颗心的距离缩短,在无意识中渐渐靠近彼此。从好朋友到情人,真正的感情是用不了多久的。从你喜欢上他的那一刻起,也许他也在那一刻喜欢上了你。同节奏的爱情往往能奏出最和谐最动听的乐章。   
真正的爱情需要什么?需要两个人在一起是轻松快乐的,没有压力。   
   ★外貌和个性哪个更重要? 
   男人年轻的时候往往喜欢漂亮的女子,25岁以后,会选择和自己性格合适的女子,能和自己一起过日子的人。 
   喜欢一个人,太急切了,反而不好。一是因为越想得到的越得不到;二是得到了也很难珍惜,来得快去得也快。细水长流一些,爱情会更长久。 
   相爱容易相处难。相处中最重要的是宽容和妥协,在信任和了解的基础上。没有宽容和妥协,任何两个人都无法相处。 
   ★纯纯的爱也许只有一次,但是真爱未必只有一次。时间会抚平一切伤痕。 
我们其实是可以爱上很多人的。我们不是喜欢某个人,而是喜欢某种类型的人。先来的人和我们相遇了,于是我们幸福地走到了一起;对于后到的人,只能抱以歉意,同时,祝福他早日找到属于他自己的幸福。 没有谁是我们一生非拥有不可的,爱一个人,很多时候实际上是习惯了这个人 
   ★现实和浪漫哪个更重要? 
   现实。没有现实为基础,浪漫就是空中楼阁。大学校园的爱情往往随着毕业而告终,大多是因为不现实,不在一个城市。 只有相互欣赏相互佩服各有所长的人,才会碰撞出最美丽的火花,也才会结出最甜美的爱情果实。 
   ★分手后我们还可以做朋友吗? 
   最好不要。剪不断,理还乱。过去了就过去了,我们不是生活在过去,而是现在。爱情不等于生活,只是生活的一部分。 
   不要因为自己长相不如对方而放弃追求的打算,长相只是一时的印象,真正决定能否结合主要取决于双方的性格。我见过的帅哥配丑女,丑女配帅哥的太多了。 
   ★恋爱的时间能长尽量长。 
   这最少有两点好处:一,充分、尽可能长的享受恋爱的愉悦,二,两人相处时间越长,越能检验彼此是否真心,越能看出两人性格是否合得来。 
   ★ 想知道一个人爱不爱你,就看他和你在一起有没有活力,开不开心,有就是爱,没有就是不爱。 
   爱情不是感动,你不是他心目中的理想伴侣,即使一时接受你,将来碰上他心仪的那一位,一样会离开你。有些人情绪容易大起大落,这样的人是很难维持一段长久的关系的。   
   ★浪漫是什么? 
   是送花?雨中漫步?楼前伫立不去?如果两人彼此倾心相爱,什么事都不做,静静相对都会感觉是浪漫的。否则,即使两人坐到月亮上拍拖,也是感觉不到浪漫的。
   ★门当户对VS共同语言  
   是否门当户对不要紧,最重要应该是兴当趣对,不然没有共同语言,即使在一起,仍然会感觉到孤独。持久的爱情源于彼此发自内心的真爱,建立在平等的基础之上。任何只顾疯狂爱人而不顾自己有否被爱,或是只顾享受被爱而不知真心爱人的人都不会有好的结局。 
   爱情既是风险投资,难免有去无回,失恋是再正常不过的事情。爱过,就够了。既然不能在一起,总有不能在一起的理由。不能因为别人负了你,就不负责任地游戏、报复或是堕落,自己演的戏,总要自己收场的。何况,他不爱你,你做什么他都不会在乎。 
   如果爱上,就不要轻易放过机会。莽撞,可能使你后悔一阵子;怯懦,却可能使你一辈子后悔。没有经历过爱情的人生是不完整的,没有经历过痛苦的爱情是不深刻的。爱情使人生丰富,痛苦使爱情升华。   
    你可能习惯与现在的恋人,明明不太喜欢,但在一起久了,习惯使人不太愿做新的选择。人生会面临无数次选择。当给你机会选择时,你一定要谨慎;一旦你做出了选择,就永远不要后悔;拿得起,放得下,该断则断,该忘记的,就把它忘记;该珍惜的,就要把它珍惜。我们总说:“我要找一个很爱很爱的人,才会谈恋爱。”但是当对方问你,怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候,你却无法回答他,因为你自己也不知道。 
    没错,我们总是以为,我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。可是后来,当我们猛然回首,我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。假如从来没有开始,你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢?其实,很爱很爱的感觉,是要在一起经历了许多事情之后才会发现的。或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣,但是你有没有想过,在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了,只是你没有发觉而已呢? 
    所以,还是仔细看看身边的人吧,他或许已经等你很久了。当你爱一个人的时候,爱到八分绝对刚刚好。所有的期待和希望都只有七八分,剩下两三分用来爱自己。如果你还继续爱得更多,很可能会给对方沉重的压力,让彼此喘不过气来,完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。 
    所以请记住,喝酒不要超过六分醉,吃饭不要超过七分饱,爱一个人不要超过八分
如果你也正在为爱迷惘,或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示:爱一个人,要了解也要开解;要道歉也要道谢;要认错也要改错;要体贴也要体谅;是接受而不是忍受;是宽容而不是纵容;是支持而不是支配;是慰问而不是质问;是倾诉而不是控诉;是难忘而不是遗忘;是彼此交流而不是凡事交代;是为对方默默祈求而不是向对方诸多要求。可以浪漫,但不要浪费,不要随便牵手,更不要随便放手。   
   浪漫的人这样描述与爱人的相逢:千万人当中,在时间的无涯的荒野里,没有早一步,也没有晚一步,刚巧赶上了。两个人好着的时候,你不妨就这样想吧。如果不好了,你要明白是否和某人在一起,不过是一个再简单不过的概率问题。数千个擦肩而过中,你给谁机会谁就和你有缘分,纵没有甲,也会有乙。别傻等那种想像中的木石前盟般的缘分了,生活中哪有那么多传奇。别醒着做梦了,难道你忘了艺术虽然来源生活,却还高于生活吗? 

43 thoughts on “[转载]慎重的选择牵手

  1. Thank you for all of the hard work on this web page. My mom delights in carrying out internet research and it’s really obvious why. A number of us notice all regarding the dynamic form you give efficient tricks via your web site and even increase participation from some others about this article then my daughter is undoubtedly discovering a great deal. Have fun with the remaining portion of the year. You are always doing a fantastic job.

  2. Thanks for all of your hard work on this site. Betty take interest in making time for internet research and it’s easy to see why. Many of us hear all of the powerful mode you make insightful things on your web blog and therefore improve participation from website visitors on this area of interest then our own simple princess has always been discovering a great deal. Have fun with the rest of the year. Your doing a fantastic job.

  3. My husband and i felt now ecstatic Edward managed to conclude his homework using the ideas he obtained from your own weblog. It’s not at all simplistic to just continually be giving freely points which usually men and women may have been trying to sell. We really recognize we need the blog owner to appreciate for this. All of the explanations you made, the easy site menu, the friendships you can help engender – it’s got mostly astounding, and it is leading our son in addition to our family reason why that issue is exciting, which is particularly pressing. Many thanks for the whole lot!

  4. I must get across my passion for your kind-heartedness supporting men and women that should have assistance with this important content. Your very own dedication to passing the solution all through appears to be wonderfully important and has made many people just like me to arrive at their targets. This informative report can mean a whole lot a person like me and especially to my fellow workers. With thanks; from everyone of us.

  5. I am writing to let you be aware of what a outstanding discovery my friend’s child had viewing your web site. She learned too many pieces, not to mention what it is like to have an excellent coaching heart to make certain people smoothly learn some very confusing subject areas. You undoubtedly did more than our own desires. I appreciate you for providing these practical, trustworthy, explanatory and cool tips on the topic to Julie.

  6. I simply wanted to thank you very much yet again. I am not sure the things that I would’ve taken care of without the actual advice shown by you over such a situation. It had become a very depressing problem for me, however , finding out the very specialized mode you resolved that took me to cry for happiness. Now i am thankful for your work and as well , have high hopes you find out what a great job that you are accomplishing educating the mediocre ones through the use of your websites. Most likely you have never come across all of us.

  7. I wish to express my appreciation to this writer for bailing me out of this particular scenario. Right after researching through the search engines and obtaining views which were not pleasant, I assumed my entire life was done. Being alive minus the solutions to the difficulties you’ve solved by means of the article is a critical case, as well as the ones which might have in a negative way damaged my entire career if I had not come across the website. Your good mastery and kindness in dealing with all the stuff was very helpful. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t come upon such a subject like this. It’s possible to at this point look ahead to my future. Thanks a lot so much for this impressive and effective help. I will not be reluctant to refer your site to anybody who should receive care on this subject.

  8. I must get across my love for your generosity giving support to men who should have assistance with that matter. Your personal commitment to passing the message up and down ended up being particularly useful and has continually allowed somebody just like me to get to their targets. Your own informative instruction can mean much to me and especially to my fellow workers. Thanks a ton; from each one of us.

  9. I wish to show thanks to this writer for bailing me out of this crisis. After researching throughout the the web and coming across principles which were not helpful, I thought my life was well over. Living without the presence of strategies to the problems you’ve sorted out through your entire guide is a serious case, and those which might have in a negative way damaged my career if I had not come across your web blog. Your actual training and kindness in controlling a lot of things was precious. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I had not encountered such a step like this. I’m able to at this point look ahead to my future. Thanks a lot very much for this impressive and amazing guide. I won’t think twice to propose the website to any person who should receive direction on this subject matter.

  10. I want to voice my love for your kind-heartedness in support of persons that really want help on in this theme. Your personal dedication to getting the solution across turned out to be astonishingly advantageous and has constantly allowed men and women like me to realize their objectives. Your warm and friendly useful information can mean a lot a person like me and extremely more to my peers. Regards; from all of us.

  11. My wife and i were satisfied that Peter could finish off his basic research from the precious recommendations he received while using the blog. It’s not at all simplistic to just happen to be making a gift of solutions other people might have been selling. So we discover we’ve got the blog owner to give thanks to for this. All of the explanations you have made, the straightforward blog menu, the friendships you will give support to engender – it is everything astounding, and it is letting our son in addition to us reason why this issue is pleasurable, which is unbelievably indispensable. Many thanks for the whole lot!

  12. I as well as my friends have been reading the best secrets and techniques found on the website while all of a sudden developed an awful suspicion I had not expressed respect to the website owner for those secrets. Those people became for this reason happy to read through them and already have pretty much been taking pleasure in those things. Appreciate your getting well accommodating and also for opting for this kind of high-quality things most people are really desirous to discover. My very own sincere apologies for not expressing appreciation to earlier.

  13. I needed to post you a bit of note to help give many thanks as before about the gorgeous concepts you have shown at this time. This has been quite unbelievably open-handed with you to allow extensively exactly what many individuals could have made available for an ebook to generate some profit for themselves, specifically since you could possibly have tried it if you wanted. Those good tips in addition worked as the good way to understand that other individuals have similar zeal just like mine to find out good deal more when it comes to this issue. I’m sure there are numerous more enjoyable moments up front for individuals who look over your website.

  14. My husband and i were very happy when Albert managed to conclude his investigation using the ideas he obtained when using the blog. It is now and again perplexing to simply choose to be giving out strategies which usually some people have been making money from. And we do know we now have the writer to thank for that. All of the illustrations you have made, the simple blog navigation, the friendships you make it easier to create – it is most exceptional, and it is helping our son and our family believe that that article is satisfying, which is wonderfully indispensable. Thanks for the whole thing!

  15. I definitely wanted to make a simple word so as to appreciate you for all the wonderful information you are placing on this website. My extended internet investigation has at the end of the day been rewarded with professional insight to exchange with my visitors. I ‘d claim that most of us readers actually are undoubtedly fortunate to be in a fabulous community with many lovely professionals with very helpful principles. I feel very much lucky to have encountered your entire web page and look forward to really more awesome minutes reading here. Thanks once more for a lot of things.

  16. I simply wanted to send a small word to be able to express gratitude to you for the pleasant items you are sharing on this website. My extended internet investigation has finally been rewarded with really good insight to exchange with my two friends. I ‘d state that that most of us visitors actually are unquestionably lucky to live in a useful website with many awesome professionals with very beneficial tricks. I feel really happy to have discovered your webpages and look forward to tons of more brilliant minutes reading here. Thanks a lot again for everything.

  17. I want to express appreciation to you for rescuing me from this type of circumstance. Right after surfing around through the the net and seeing tips which are not powerful, I believed my entire life was gone. Existing minus the solutions to the issues you’ve resolved through your good guide is a critical case, as well as the ones which might have badly damaged my entire career if I had not encountered your blog. Your own personal training and kindness in touching the whole lot was tremendous. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not come across such a solution like this. It’s possible to at this point look forward to my future. Thanks a lot so much for your reliable and results-oriented guide. I won’t think twice to recommend your web sites to any individual who will need guidance on this area.

  18. Thanks so much for giving everyone such a remarkable opportunity to check tips from this web site. It’s usually so brilliant plus packed with amusement for me and my office peers to visit your site particularly thrice in 7 days to read the newest secrets you have. And of course, I’m also usually fascinated with the breathtaking creative concepts you give. Certain 3 tips in this article are in fact the most effective I’ve ever had.

  19. I simply wanted to thank you very much all over again. I’m not certain the things that I could possibly have handled without these tricks contributed by you on my theme. It seemed to be a very depressing circumstance for me, nevertheless understanding your skilled approach you managed that made me to cry with fulfillment. I am just happier for the advice and wish you comprehend what a powerful job you happen to be accomplishing teaching the rest through your websites. I am sure you’ve never got to know all of us.

  20. Thanks so much for providing individuals with an exceptionally superb possiblity to read from here. It really is very amazing and also stuffed with a great time for me personally and my office colleagues to visit your blog not less than thrice weekly to find out the fresh stuff you will have. And definitely, I am also usually happy with your extraordinary guidelines you serve. Some 2 areas in this article are particularly the simplest we’ve had.

  21. Thanks for your own labor on this web site. My mum loves going through investigation and it is easy to understand why. All of us know all of the dynamic way you offer valuable steps by means of the blog and as well encourage contribution from visitors on this subject matter and our child is without question studying a lot. Take advantage of the rest of the year. You are carrying out a tremendous job.

  22. I and my guys ended up analyzing the good solutions found on your web page and then all of the sudden I got a terrible feeling I had not thanked the site owner for them. Most of the young men came absolutely passionate to read all of them and already have without a doubt been enjoying these things. Appreciate your getting considerably thoughtful and then for settling on certain nice things most people are really eager to understand about. Our honest apologies for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.

  23. I happen to be commenting to make you understand what a amazing experience my cousin’s princess had reading yuor web blog. She came to understand a good number of details, including what it is like to possess an excellent giving character to get many more clearly fully understand some impossible subject areas. You really surpassed her expected results. Many thanks for rendering such effective, trustworthy, educational as well as unique tips on this topic to Ethel.

  24. Thanks for your entire labor on this website. Ellie loves engaging in investigations and it’s simple to grasp why. All of us know all relating to the dynamic tactic you deliver very helpful things via this website and as well as welcome response from website visitors on the concept so our simple princess is without a doubt starting to learn a whole lot. Enjoy the remaining portion of the year. You’re the one performing a fantastic job.

  25. I must convey my respect for your generosity in support of men who must have guidance on that content. Your personal commitment to getting the solution across appears to be pretty effective and has frequently made individuals much like me to realize their desired goals. This warm and helpful help and advice denotes a great deal to me and additionally to my fellow workers. Best wishes; from all of us.

  26. I am only commenting to make you be aware of what a superb experience my friend’s daughter gained reading through your web site. She came to find lots of things, including what it’s like to have a marvelous giving style to get folks with no trouble know precisely specified extremely tough matters. You actually surpassed visitors’ desires. Many thanks for displaying these warm and helpful, dependable, educational and even unique guidance on this topic to Gloria.

  27. I truly wanted to post a comment so as to thank you for these fantastic facts you are placing on this site. My long internet search has finally been recognized with good insight to talk about with my family. I would admit that most of us readers actually are quite endowed to be in a useful website with very many perfect people with insightful points. I feel quite grateful to have discovered your website page and look forward to so many more brilliant moments reading here. Thank you once again for everything.

  28. Needed to post you one tiny remark so as to give many thanks once again considering the magnificent solutions you’ve shared on this site. It was really shockingly generous with you to provide freely precisely what most people could have supplied for an electronic book to earn some dough for themselves, primarily since you could possibly have tried it if you ever considered necessary. The techniques also worked to become great way to be aware that the rest have the same dreams similar to my own to learn somewhat more when considering this condition. I know there are some more pleasurable instances in the future for individuals who start reading your blog post.

  29. My husband and i have been so comfortable that Edward managed to finish off his inquiry while using the ideas he discovered while using the weblog. It is now and again perplexing to just find yourself giving freely solutions most people might have been making money from. And now we keep in mind we need the writer to thank because of that. Those explanations you made, the simple site navigation, the relationships you will help foster – it’s got all exceptional, and it’s letting our son and the family consider that the concept is exciting, which is certainly pretty important. Thanks for all!

  30. I am just writing to let you know what a extraordinary experience my friend’s princess gained using your web page. She came to understand many things, with the inclusion of what it is like to possess an ideal coaching mood to let many people clearly have an understanding of selected advanced issues. You undoubtedly surpassed our desires. Thanks for providing these informative, safe, educational and even cool tips on that topic to Gloria.

  31. Thank you so much for providing individuals with such a marvellous chance to read from this web site. It really is so pleasant and packed with a good time for me and my office acquaintances to search the blog no less than thrice per week to learn the newest stuff you will have. And lastly, I am actually satisfied for the breathtaking thoughts you serve. Some two facts in this posting are definitely the most impressive I have ever had.

  32. I really wanted to send a brief comment to say thanks to you for these precious guides you are giving out at this site. My time consuming internet search has at the end been honored with high-quality facts and techniques to exchange with my best friends. I ‘d state that that we website visitors actually are definitely blessed to live in a decent website with so many outstanding professionals with useful solutions. I feel truly happy to have encountered your weblog and look forward to tons of more enjoyable times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for everything.

  33. I wanted to write down a comment to appreciate you for all the splendid information you are giving at this website. My considerable internet search has now been recognized with incredibly good facts and techniques to exchange with my great friends. I would admit that most of us readers are unquestionably fortunate to dwell in a notable website with very many awesome professionals with useful methods. I feel really privileged to have used your weblog and look forward to many more awesome minutes reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.

  34. I wanted to write you the bit of observation to help say thanks a lot once again for these superb suggestions you’ve shared above. It’s simply surprisingly open-handed with people like you in giving easily all that most of us would have advertised as an ebook to help make some cash on their own, most importantly now that you could have done it in the event you decided. The pointers additionally served to become fantastic way to realize that most people have a similar dream similar to my personal own to see lots more when considering this condition. I believe there are numerous more pleasant situations ahead for folks who look over your site.

  35. I would like to express my admiration for your kindness giving support to individuals that have the need for help on that content. Your real dedication to getting the message all around had been exceedingly powerful and has truly helped girls like me to attain their objectives. Your personal interesting recommendations signifies a great deal a person like me and substantially more to my office colleagues. Thank you; from all of us.

  36. My spouse and i were so thrilled that Albert could finish off his analysis out of the ideas he got from your own web pages. It’s not at all simplistic to just find yourself giving freely strategies which the rest may have been trying to sell. And we all know we now have the blog owner to appreciate for that. The most important explanations you made, the easy web site menu, the relationships you can aid to instill – it is all great, and it is facilitating our son and us imagine that the issue is cool, and that’s really serious. Thanks for all the pieces!

  37. I not to mention my guys have been reviewing the good information located on your web page then then I got a horrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the web site owner for those strategies. The women are already as a consequence excited to read through them and have now absolutely been having fun with those things. Many thanks for truly being very accommodating and also for finding this form of incredible tips millions of individuals are really wanting to discover. My honest regret for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.

  38. I want to convey my passion for your kindness supporting those individuals that really need assistance with that idea. Your very own commitment to getting the solution all over was remarkably productive and has continuously permitted others much like me to reach their goals. Your amazing important tips and hints can mean a great deal to me and especially to my peers. With thanks; from each one of us.

  39. I am glad for writing to let you know of the magnificent experience my girl developed visiting your webblog. She picked up lots of pieces, which included what it is like to have a very effective teaching heart to have other folks very easily completely grasp specified very confusing subject areas. You truly did more than visitors’ expected results. Thanks for giving these powerful, trustworthy, edifying and in addition fun guidance on that topic to Evelyn.

  40. My spouse and i felt quite joyous that Louis managed to finish off his research while using the precious recommendations he grabbed from your very own web pages. It’s not at all simplistic to just happen to be making a gift of strategies that many others might have been making money from. We realize we have the blog owner to thank for that. The entire explanations you’ve made, the simple website navigation, the friendships you will give support to promote – it is everything impressive, and it is letting our son and our family imagine that the concept is exciting, which is really serious. Thanks for all!

  41. Thanks a lot for giving everyone an exceptionally marvellous chance to read in detail from this site. It is usually so useful and also packed with a good time for me personally and my office acquaintances to visit your site minimum three times in 7 days to see the new guides you have. And indeed, I’m also at all times motivated concerning the astonishing tips and hints you give. Certain 4 facts in this article are absolutely the simplest we have all ever had.

  42. I in addition to my buddies were analyzing the excellent tricks on your web page and so at once I had a horrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the web site owner for those tips. Most of the ladies came excited to read through all of them and already have seriously been taking advantage of these things. I appreciate you for really being indeed thoughtful and also for having this kind of good subject matter millions of individuals are really desirous to learn about. Our own honest apologies for not expressing gratitude to earlier.

  43. 不错的文章,内容文笔犀利.

Copyright © 2009-2019 沐雨听风与狂言疯语  | Powered by WordPress  | 网站地图  |  访客留言  | 冀ICP备15004690号  |   | WordPress theme: Kippis 1.15

%d 博主赞过: